Saturday, July 30, 2011

Directionally Challenged.

I'll be the first to admit that I am directionally challenged.

I can get lost going somewhere I've been a dozen times. I can tell you the worst possible way to get just about anywhere. I've driven the wrong way down a one-way street a time or two (or three, or four... don't judge me, you know you've done it too). Add a passenger or phone convo into the mix and I'm capable of missing my exit and driving multiple hundreds of miles on the wrong road. In my home state I know how to get only a handful of places. No joke.

You'd think I would be used to it by now. I certainly am not. I try to have a sense of humor about it but the truth is:

Getting lost is stressful, even panic-inducing.
Realizing you're going the wrong way is confusing.
Not knowing how to get where you want to be is frustrating.

Today the irony of my directionally challenged-ness hit me like a ton of bricks. Right now I am in a life season that is very uncomfortable and awkward. I've had my share of these seasons before but just like the frustration of getting lost while driving, the discomfort of the season has not lessened over time. If anything, it has intensified.

Sometimes I feel a little lost in life. I panic, I analyze every little thing trying to figure out what the heck I'm doing. Then I look to my Daddy and remember He said that if I trust Him with my whole heart and acknowledge Him in everything, He'll make the path straight before me (Proverbs 3).

I fear going the wrong way. In a culture that expects me to have life figured out by now, I daily have to shake off the feelings (oh, emotions!) and expectations of people and cling to the Truth that in this life I walk by faith, not by sight (2 Corinthians 5). Another Scripture I love: He makes me sure-footed as a deer, leading me along mountain heights (Psalm 18). When I walk with Him I can walk in confidence and certainty.

I have dreams and goals and desires that often seem so far away. To be a woman after God's heart, a more passionate worshipper, true friend, wise leader, loving wife and crazy-awesome mom. For the moments when I am overwhelmed by my inadequacies or frustrated with the delays I pray and confess the words of Psalm 138:8 (one of my all-time favorites):

The LORD will fulfill His purpose for me; Your love, O Lord, endures forever-  do not abandon the works of Your hand.

I find great comfort, strength & confidence in the Word of God. It is my roadmap and a flawless GPS to navigate every bump, detour & destination in this life. (And unlike my GPS [Melda] He isn't desperately in need of a  map update, neither does He recalculate 14 times per trip. I'm also fairly sure that He doesn't have a British accent, but you never know.)

It is in the seasons that just feel like "in-betweens" that  I best learn to trust Him with my whole heart. So I guess I should be grateful for the uncomfortable season in which I presently live :).

If you're brave enough to admit you're directionally challenged (literally or figuratively), please share your best story with me!


Tuesday, July 19, 2011

messy, imperfect, beautiful [me & you]

Another e-mail blog. Please pardon any aesthetic and/or grammatical errors you may stumble upon. It is late and I'm in the car, somewhere in Ohio. Or is it Indiana?

Just saw a sign. It's still Ohio for 26 more miles. Don't worry, I'm not driving, I'm happily passenger-ing. I'll share trip highlights soon but tonight I just want to share what is on my heart. A little road-trip food for thought.

First, I want to encourage everyone to practice speaking words of life into and over your family & friends, acquaintances & strangers. Tell them what they mean to God and to you. Write them a note. Thank them for pouring into you. Buy them a little something that made you think of them from the moment you saw it. Send a piece of snail mail (my favorite!). You just might have a lasting impact. Your encouragement, your little bit of love may be enough to get them through a tough time. You may never know the impact you make on someone's life by a small, heartfelt gesture. Or one day they may tell you and it will just mess you up/make you cry/humble you/remind you how faithful God is.

Second, don't ever stop celebrating your freedom in Christ! If you've yielded your life to Him He's brought you out into a spacious place- and He's brought you there because He delights in you (Psalm 18). Yes, YOU!

You- who still makes mistakes.
You- who yelled at your spouse and/or kids today.
You- with the extra 20/35/50 pounds you can't seem to shed.
You- with the dreams that don't seem to be coming true right now (or ever).
You- who struggles to stop comparing yourself to anybody and everybody.
You- who doesn't always "feel" so free.

The Lord of all the earth, Almighty God... He DELIGHTS in messy, imperfect, beautiful me & you.
He loves you AND He likes you.
He's rescued you from sin and brought you into a spacious place.

And I feel like tonight He just wants somebody to get this:

"I have brought you into a spacious place. And I want you to utilize it."

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Thursday, July 14, 2011


Hello friends!
Blogging via e-mail today. Not ideal, but I'm on holiday so it is the only option!
Tonight I get to see one of my absolute, all-time, most favorite bands: U2! They've been around longer than I have, and they still make some pretty sweet music. I'm putting on the waterproof mascara today- I'm almost certain I'm going to cry tonight!
There's something quite epic about live music. And I like that!
What's the most spectacular show you've been to (and why)?

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Friday, July 8, 2011

I use the words "septic tank" in this post, so you know it's gotta be good...

Tonight, I'm sharing a poem about the kind of week month I'm having. Sometimes you just gotta get in touch with your 10-year-old self and write a silly but tragically serious poem. So, here is a little insight into my relationship with God these days:).

When You take the lead
This dance simply flows
When I take the lead
I step on Your toes

When You take the lead
My story is epic
When I take the lead
Life ends up in the septic

When You take the lead
The results are fantastic
When I take the lead
I'm stressed out and spastic

When You take the lead
I can confidently chase
When I take the lead
I need to press the backspace

When You take the lead
I'll admit I get antsy
But I trust that Your plan is
Much, much, much more fancy
than mine

And when You take the lead
Worry has no place
So here I wait again
Nestled safely in Your grace

Even in a season when it is very difficult to wait on the Lord and be of good courage I am thankful for laughter and joy in His presence. Whatever would I do without Jesus?

Anyone else right here with me?


Wednesday, July 6, 2011

solitary in families

My birthday was wonderful! I must admit I had my doubts about how the day would turn out. Sometimes I get sad & lonely for the ones I'm not with and places I can't be. Just one of the drawbacks of living such a transitory lifestyle, I guess. But I am very thankful that God knew what I needed and blessed me with such a special day.

I spent it with family... (best nephew ever!)

And with a few best friends... (Katie & Mel!)

Sweet, sweet Lindsey Hall bought me a cake! All my favorite colors;).

God is relationship-oriented. It's something I really like about Him. He blesses us with companionship with Himself (WOW) as well as with the fellowship of other believers. Together, we make up a great big family.

I had the privilege of spending my evening with spiritual family. I was blessed with a sense of belonging that I have been missing. The entire Olson family joined us for dinner then had us over to their home for a wonderful time!

It was a perfect summer night. Hot & humid- my fave! After watching HILARIOUS videos (laughed my head off), playing a game and hanging out inside LaFawn suggested taking the party outside to "make memories". And that we did! Sam caught a huge frog and I gave it a birthday kiss. Why not, right? :)

I held its little webby hands and it wrapped its webby fingers around my thumbs. I must admit, it was pretty cute, even for a NON-animal-lover like myself!

A scripture I couldn't let go of that entire night was Psalm 68:6- "He sets the solitary in families..." It is amazing how much healing God ministered to me from just a few hours spent with a Godly family. Sigh.

I'm very thankful to be serving a God who cares about my emotional and relational needs. He is so faithful!