I Will Waste My Life

I will waste my life,
I'll be tested and tried.
With no regrets inside of me,
Just to find I'm at Your feet,
Let me find I'm at Your feet.

I leave my father's house, and I leave my mother.
I leave all I have known, and I'll have no other.

For I am in love with You,
and there is no cost.
I am in love with You,
and there is no loss.
I am in love with You,
I want to take Your name.
I am in love with You,
I want to cling to You, Jesus,
Just let me cling to You, Jesus.

I say goodbye to my father, my mother,
I turn my back on every other lover, And I press on, yes I press on.

["I Will Waste My Life", Misty Edwards]

I first heard this song in the summer of 2008 and was quite uncomfortable with the terminology "waste my life." It seemed a strange thing to say about serving a worthy God. I couldn't get past the first line because I just didn't get it. Too often when I don't understand something I just forget about it and move on. [I've missed a lot that way. Not recommended.]

Time has past, and recently I find this song wrecking me. I know no other way to put it. I'm just beginning to understand this lovesick desperation to be one with Jesus. The burning desire to take His name, to love Him more, to know the deep things of His heart.

Many people are surely wasting their lives on a whole lot of nothing. That is not what Misty is singing about here! A more accurate definition is: "to use, consume, spend, or expend thoughtlessly or carelessly." This song is about extravagant love that consumes one's entire being.

Extravagant love like that of the immoral woman who poured out fragrant oil (worth a year's wages) over the feet of Jesus without a care.

Extravagant love like David's when he thoughtlessly and furiously danced before the Lord. Passionate, consuming love doesn't think twice.

Extravagant love that compelled a poor widow to give all she had to her Lord.

Extravagant love like Paul's that testified of the infinite value of knowing Jesus; a burning conviction that becoming one with Him was worth discarding everything else. 

Extravagant love like that of Jesus, whose heart melted within Him as He was poured out to redeem you and I.

It is His extravagant love that beckons us to use, consume, spend, and expend thoughtlessly and even carelessly our very lives... for love.

I will waste my life.

*megan